By Robert Ivey III
Two juniors met at a high school dance on a warm evening in the spring of 1968. Minutes before, she had complained to her cousin that there were no “good boys” in attendance. He wasn’t looking to meet anyone special that night. Their single dance together was tender, although brief, and the night might have been forgotten if not for another chance meeting.
A month later, she drove her younger sister to summer school in the family car for the first time, and for no foreseeable reason under the sun, he was there, ready and eager to talk. And talk they did, for hours and hours about the entirety and nothingness of teenage bliss. More dances followed, though meetups certainly couldn’t be called “dates” since neither had a car. Finally, at one of Woody Windham’s Hopperoonies, they shared their first kiss. To them, it was “The Spark Felt Round the World”.
After that dance, they spoke every day, and when school started, they double dated
every weekend with whoever could drive them (still no car!); that is, until Halloween.
Don’t ask about the details, but there were a lot of teenage boys from the neighborhood
involved, and LOTS of eggs being splattered everywhere. No car, including her dad’s,
was spared. For the first time in their relationship, she had been allowed to drive to his
house to visit. He made sure everything was cleaned up, and perhaps that convinced
his dad to let him use their family car for going out on dates.
The next five months were a blur of dinners, movies, and platonic romance for
both, culminating in a day trip to Myrtle Beach at Easter. For him, it was the perfect
day—he had his girl and his freedom, and he loved them both. He decided then and
there what he wanted for his future.
When they returned home, he bought her a “promise ring”, which was all he could afford. Some did not think they should commit themselves at such an early age, but he was determined. In fact, a month
later, he bought a proper engagement ring for her and told everyone, “We’re getting married and having ten kids!” Ten children were a news flash to her, but she was willing to try for him.
A month later, just two days after her 18th birthday, they were married at her parents’ house. It was a small, happy, and nerve-wracking affair. He was late due to car trouble and had to hitch a ride from
two kind elderly ladies. The electricity failed due to a terrible thunderstorm, and the “best man” was delayed in storm traffic chaos and arrived just after the “I do’s” had been said. Not elegant, perhaps, but very satisfying. They were MARRIED. Come what may, they would face it together.
They began their domestic bliss in a small mobile home in a corner of her grandmother’s property. After a few months and job changes for him, they could drive themselves around town and perform the normal day-to-day functions of a married couple.
Several months later, just before their first anniversary, their first child came into the world. He was so scared, he wouldn’t hold his son until they were in the safety of their home. She worried continuously that she might hurt her baby with the slightest mistake. Like most new parents, they were extremely
nervous and wanted to do everything right. As a husband and father myself, I know firsthand that becoming a parent is a far greater endeavor than becoming a spouse; yet I cannot imagine how thrilling and terrifying it must have been for them to face this challenge at so young an age. That sudden, instant reorientation of your perspective, all of your priorities, hopes, and dreams are unimaginably powerful and complete. Somehow, they managed. Their love for each other supported and sustained them through those early financial setbacks, mutual career disappointments, and family challenges. They did, however, reduce their target family size to include only five children.
Their next child, a daughter, was born on January 1st, 1974, the first childbirth in the state of South Carolina that year. Another rush of parental love and protection swelled, no different than the first, ex-
cept that they were a little more confident this time. Along with the second baby’s growing pains, they recognized that they were running out of space as the family expanded; their living situation needed
an upgrade. A bigger house meant more money required, and within three years, she was working full-time again to help support the growing family. He changed careers as well, opting for work that paid
more but required extensive travel. A big part of their love expression became bringing home the bacon and holding down the fort. And, they decided, the family was now as large as it needed to be.
This is when many couples’ romances derail and never recover, but theirs was made stronger through their commitment to each other and to their children. They invested their time, energy, and hearts into their family. Teaching their children to read, write, and count, showing them how to throw, catch, and hit a ball, these things were not burdens but blessings. Family time was (and still is) precious above all else to them. With a heart for adventure, they purchased and renovated a full-sized van to make road trips, state fairs, and family reunions more memorable, and enjoyed countless drive-in movies together. Endless miles and hours spent transporting the children to ball practice and gymnastics, school plays, and birthday parties were never recognized as accomplishments or achievements—only the achieve-
ments of the children mattered.
Witnessing their kids develop into adults and leave home, experiencing heartbreaking health setbacks, enduring financial rollercoasters, and constantly spoiling their grandchildren as often as possible, Bob and Cheryl have been steadfast in the belief that their love for one another has gotten them through it all. Today, when they open their eyes, they thank the Lord for another day with one another and look forward to enjoying future road trips, gatherings, movies, and hopefully great-grandchildren one day, all while still dancing with each other the same as when they first met. I’ve heard the following many times and have learned that some consider it a cliché but take a beat and really feel the words from “Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians: “Love…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians, 13:7 KJB). If it is really love, it really does. My parents are living proof.
